I am unsure if it is my downfall.. but even as a child, I would have been classified as that “overachiever.” My motivations though were not for good grades.. they it was an intrinsic insatiable need to stand out. Ok, to give you an idea.. in Immunology class, we were to label all the parts of certain body systems.. What do I do? I take out my paper and hand draw 10 systems, color them all with color pencils, very carefully label everything (even using a ruler to underline these labels). Insane?! Yes. I think I spent 30 hours literally on something that should have took 2.

While working on my young adult novel (sci-fi/fantasy), sometimes I will mull over one sentence if the flow is not to my liking. What is it? Perfectionism? Need to achieve? Control? A strong belief that anything is possible? I do not know.. but some things I think we are all born with.. and this is something that is innate to me.. I was given this sense of “taste,” an almost intuitive feeling that I cannot put my finger on- comprised of harmony and flow.

Whatever it is, it is good, and bad. My struggle is achieving efficiency with my patterns… It is getting better and I must keep plugging along. I cannot spend too much time over one dissatisfaction. So now what I do, when something just is not right, or it is taking too long to “make it right” I move to something else and put it aside. Time and time again, this has proved to be the solution- when I come back, the answer usually comes to me.

Some struggle with writing patterns, some struggle with the design.. I struggle with something that looks perfect in all other eyes except my own. I am just a backwards person. lol.

Anyway… let me know what you think of the new blog.