I am unsure if it is my downfall.. but even as a child, I would have been classified as that “overachiever.” My motivations though were not for good grades.. they it was an intrinsic insatiable need to stand out. Ok, to give you an idea.. in Immunology class, we were to label all the parts of certain body systems.. What do I do? I take out my paper and hand draw 10 systems, color them all with color pencils, very carefully label everything (even using a ruler to underline these labels). Insane?! Yes. I think I spent 30 hours literally on something that should have took 2.

While working on my young adult novel (sci-fi/fantasy), sometimes I will mull over one sentence if the flow is not to my liking. What is it? Perfectionism? Need to achieve? Control? A strong belief that anything is possible? I do not know.. but some things I think we are all born with.. and this is something that is innate to me.. I was given this sense of “taste,” an almost intuitive feeling that I cannot put my finger on- comprised of harmony and flow.

Whatever it is, it is good, and bad. My struggle is achieving efficiency with my patterns… It is getting better and I must keep plugging along. I cannot spend too much time over one dissatisfaction. So now what I do, when something just is not right, or it is taking too long to “make it right” I move to something else and put it aside. Time and time again, this has proved to be the solution- when I come back, the answer usually comes to me.

Some struggle with writing patterns, some struggle with the design.. I struggle with something that looks perfect in all other eyes except my own. I am just a backwards person. lol.

Anyway… let me know what you think of the new blog.

5 thoughts on “Downfall?”

  1. I really like the look! It is very peaceful and inviting. I will enjoy being able to read as you travel along with life and crochet.

  2. I understand your mindset. I am the same way. Although mine manifested itself in grades (back in school) and now in other areas of my life…sometimes I worry it is a control issue.

    Love the blog. Will enjoy reading your thoughts…but heck, when do you sleep girl?

  3. Lisa, lovely site!
    To quote the TV Character “Monk” on USA Channel, who is an obcessive compulsive detective, who overlooks nothing: “it’s a gift, it’s a curse.” When they put him on medicine, he couldn’t do his job, so never go on medication for ocd!
    Congratulations on your lovely site, is the other site going to be active?
    Karen Ann

  4. Design is hard work, I am designing a shawl for a friend, I am making it look like Aran knit, with a heavy cable down the middle, although it is crocheted comletely. I am almost done. Since it is the prototype, I will go back and write what I did, just by looking at the stitches. I will post a picture on crochet garden’s site. I hate to write as I create, I create then write. But I have to do it while the idea is there, then I can go back and reverse engineer it. Krng177

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