My goodness, it has been a whole year since I last blogged. Shame on me. I am first to say it. I really have neglected a lot of things this past year. I think 2012 was just gray year. Is there such a thing? It just kind of went by, and I think I was merely a passive participant. I don’t know if that makes sense, as half the time I question myself if I make sense to myself.
For 2013, I feel a new energy. I really feel like it is a brand new year!! Maybe there really is something to astrology. 2012, for some reason, was the year of avoidance for me. I avoided everything, from exercise, to crochet, to people… I am not sure what happened. I just fell out of the groove of life, per se, I guess. I didn’t blog, that’s for sure. My laundry pile is, well, quite extraordinary! I think that word has a nice connotation than other words I could have chosen. I think that is going to be my new word for 2013- extraordinary!!
I have this new zest- I want to renew myself in many ways. I put on so much weight the past few years, and for the last 3 months (give or take) I have been taking a step back, and looking at myself, and my goals. I guess I just needed that turn of the clock at midnight to actually feel the spark. Why is that? But either way, this process started a few months ago, but really has gone into motion the past few weeks.
I have been quite ashamed at how much I gained, and how much I let myself go (though I am glad I let my hair go, it is down my hiney now!). I think my feelings fed my avoidance of everything. It was like symbiotic in a way- I stayed in and avoided things which fed my weight, and that in turn steered me deeper into this hole. I was not really depressed or anything, just more like, just another plain day.
So in comes overhaul. Not just body, but everything, my body, mind and spirit. I am even thinking of going to church.
Anyway, in an attempt to become healthy, and lose weight, I have (for the time being at least) turned vegan. I am not sure if I am technically vegan, since everything I have read about vegans does not just encompass their food selections, but also what they wear and what products they use. From shoes, to purses, etc.
For myself, I redefined what I eat. Last year, we cut out pop. We now drink water with meals. We cut out eating out, except for the occasional celebratory meals. And for the past few months, I have cut out a lot of food. I no longer eat meat, nor eggs, nor dairy (even milk and cheese!). I do not eat anything processed out of a box (including cereal, granola bars etc). Sure, I guess they can be *healthy*. But I have adopted a simple way of eating- whole food, and back to making my meals. If I want granola, I will make it. No MSG, no refined fructose syrup, no refined corn syrup, etc.
In the past 3 months-ish, I have lost 40 lbs. (Sadly, I still have 100+ pounds to go).
With my new eating style, I eat as much as I want. I never, ever starve myself or go without. If I am hungry, I eat. I still have yet to incorporate exercise to this, but the overhaul of how I eat was quite a quest to begin with. But now, with 2013, I am ready !! I want a new me. I want to not only lose weight, but to feel healthy. I don’t want to dwell on things that I cannot change anymore. No more avoiding things. Avoidance comes with weight. I want to not only lose body weight, but weight from stress.I want to develop an exercise routine. That will be a new quest, as I am not really sure how to start or what to do. I have a Y membership, but I really do not want to go there with all those fit bodies.
I am thinking of keeping a personal video blog. I am not sure if I will be able to publish for the world, as I am still trying to crawl out of this shame of how I left myself go… But it may be something special for me, to document my journey.
On the crochet front- I am back!! Goodness, the past couple of weeks, I feel revived. I neglected my crochet in 2012. I think it was all part of that “absent from life” for a bit. Maybe it was mid life crisis? I don’t know what age that normally happens at. Maybe it was just a funk. We all have funks, right? Just say yes.
My goal for this year crochet-wise is to get through all the designs I have in progress. Either finish them, or discontinue them. My poor testers- I know some were irritated with me, sadly. I didn’t finish a lot of designs, and they sit there, abandoned. All the more reason to get out of this funk. I am glad though that most forgive me for that, and are still hanging out- putting up with my back-in-gear-designing.
I have started a new lace shawl. I am in love with it. It is a triangular shawl, and oh the edging is (to me) a jaw dropper. So is the body, in its own way, but can’t have too many elements competing for attention at the same time in a design. At least not in mine, I think my mind would go crazy.
I can’t yet post a sneak-peak, though I would love to. I am still working on the edging, and then have yet to block it. I am not sure if I want to keep it on the Crochet Garden website or send it off to a magazine, or maybe even for greater things- ah what to do!
Well, world, if anyone even is out there, happy crocheting, happy health, happy New Year, and have an extraordinary day!